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Mike "Macguyver" "Chewy" Kogon was weened on the polka stylings of Eastern Europe. He immediately took a strong liking to the accordion, but was pressured by his Funcle (Father/Uncle) to choose an instrument that was more conventional in North America. With a great roar, young Chewy reluctantly agreed to take up the bass guitar.
Inspired by James Bond's technique with females' gluteii, he soon mastered the art of the slap. Mike made a few guest appearances on "Ed The Sock" and posed for some underwear commercials, but his big break through came in '97 when he stunned the porn industry with his uncanny ability to slap his "instrument".
| SEX | Regularly |
| SIGN | Sagittarius |
| TURN-ONS | The band 'YES', The answer 'YES', and 'The Clapper' |
| TURN-OFFS | Shane's hairy ass, 'The Clap' |
| FAVOURITE BODY PART | Pubococcygeal muscle |
| FAVOURITE CLEFT | Pudendal |